Identity Crisis-of the non triathlon type

I discovered a new type of shallow this week. The kind of snobbery that I am a bit embarrassed to admit, but I feel that acknowledging it is the first step in getting over it. I am a car snob.

You see, we own one car and we have had this car for 4 years. It's frustrating at times to share, but since we live, work and go to school VERY close together it has never been a big deal. Until this summer. The man has a summer job 50 miles away. We only have one car. Do the math, and I am the odd woman out.

My parents, bless them, have given me a car to borrow for the summer. The car works. It is reliable. It is not mine. It makes me feel like a senior in high school, borrowing my parents car. Except, 10 years ago this car would have been brand new.

I come from a family where you drive the car until it dies, and I am perfectly cool with that. But it appears I now have problems with brands. I have nothing against the American automobile industry. Really. But could you work on the steering? Seriously, this whole loose steering thing is out of control. I feel like I am driving a boat. An aging boat. With a terrible turning radius.

So, it appears that I am a convert. I miss my Volkswagen. And I'll be damned if the next car I buy isn't German. Blame my sister, she's the one that made me do it. ;)

RR: Redemption Duathlon

After yesterday's meltdown I asked my coach if I could do my own version today. She was all for it, so we decided on the distances of 2/8/2 (all miles). The original race was 5K/30K/5K and I wasn't going to be anywhere near that today, but distance isn't the point. I needed to get on my bike. I needed a multisport event. I needed redemption.

When I got home from work I set up my living room as transition and put on my race outfit (LIT hat included). The run course was a mix of grass, roads and sidewalks--with one good incline thrown in for good measure.

I started out fast, maybe a little pent up aggression working its way out. :) The first mile I felt smooth up the hill and wondered if I could hold this through...not so much, but close. Second mile was a bit of a struggle. When I hit the split on my watch I snuck a peak. 17:49 Holy crap! I had just done back to back sub 9s!

Quick transition on to the bike. Down the drive and through the neighborhood, getting a feel for things-trying to remember to stay loose. I headed out to the roads and slowed a bit as I made my way to a local bike path. The path is SO short, about half mile long. But again, I just wanted some confidence, so back and forth I went--3x? 4x? I can't really remember. All I know is that I just kept pushing the pace, held 19mph for a half mile! Keep your giggles to yourselves ;)
8 miles, 33:00 (14.5mph avg). I will take it.

Last run, only 2 miles--I can do this! My legs felt like I had dead weights attached the hip. Slogging through I just kept telling myself to push. I didn't look at my watch to avoid seeing how slow I was going. Hit the split when I got back home and was stunned. 18:06 Almost another back to back sub 9s!

Overall: 1st
Prize: A reason to hope

Thanks everyone!

DNS

I will spare the details of me sobbing in the car with my head between my knees while my poor husband tried to console me. It was kind of ugly...I think my eyes are still red and puffy.

To put it simply, it wasn't my day. There were not bike shorts big enough to get me to ride that course yesterday. Driving it that morning I lost it. This course was beyond my reach...at least for now. I would love to say that it was pouring rain that led to my DNS, but it was the wind, potholes, gravel, HUGE hill and anxiety combo that took me to the comforts of a decaf grande mocha.

I cried because I felt like a quitter. I had the good luck comments printed out and I felt like I was letting people, myself included, down. I wanted to tackle my fears in a big way, but this just wasn't my day or my course to do that on.

And so, there you have it. My very first DNS. It royally sucked. But I'm moving on. This was just a mere bump in the road.

When it rains...

This week, as the fates would have, has been one of the most difficult weeks professionally that I have ever had. Next week is already shaping up to be much of the same. If ever there were a time to sit with my head under a blanket-now would be perfect. The stress of colleagues' mistakes, office conflict, and the potential for a promotion to manage all of this nonsense has started to weigh me down. As a friend told me yesterday at lunch, not only would I need to keep wearing my big girl pants I may need to 'invest in several pairs.' Thanks. I would like to eat cupcakes and buy a coloring book. Oh to be 5 again.

Work stress for me is the worst kind. I am slowly learning to deal with it, but it keeps me up at night and eating immodium during the day. So stressed in fact, I was even using mantras last night as I got into bed and the stress of everything started zipping through my thoughts. I had to remind myself that my bed was a safe, loving environment. Great combination...especially during race week.

Yeah, there is this race-a duathlon-this weekend. I've been doing my visualization of remaining calm on my bike. Calm and confident. Cool and collected. In the middle of all of my nerves and stress I have been checking the weather for Sunday.

And what do you know? It's calling for rain.

Training?

What? You haven't enjoyed hearing about what I like to do in my spare time? You want to read about training? HR? How I am shaking in my bike shoes about my upcoming duathlon? Oh wait, I'm supposed to think positively this week...we'll leave Starker-Mann out of this post.

I have been training. Bricks, swim workouts, runs, rides. You know pretty normal getting ready for August 2nd when I torpedo the swim, rocket the bike, and glide through the run at Steelhead. Yes, I have grandiose plans for Steelhead. The plan is to get to the start line healthy and strong. Last week was not great, I felt like a wuss. My piriformis is so wadded up tight that it feels like some stuck a hot poker in my right glute. Pleasant.

But the whining has been minimal. Right coach?!

So, yes, I have been training. Forgive me if I am quiet this week, particularly about multisport. You see there is this race this weekend that I'm just a touch nervous for...but we'll leave Starker-Mann out of this post. ;)

100 Things About Me

1 – I am married to an opera singer, no joke. We met singing in a choir.
2 – I no longer sing in said choir.
3 – I have no idea why those are the first things I thought of when making this list.
4 – My college degree is in history.
5 – Much to my mother’s chagrin I was never interested in gender studies…I studied war and politics.
6 – I contemplate going back for my Ph.D. on a daily basis.
7 – I also think about starting a farm on a daily basis.
8 – If someone has a good plan to incorporate 6 and 7, please advise…and send funds.
9 – My goal for May is to not buy a single book or magazine.
10 – I have spent a couple of lunch hours reading at Barnes and Noble which will either send me into a book buying frenzy or ease my urge.
11 – Yes, I have heard of the library.
12 – A Decaf grande mocha is my drink of choice at Starbucks.
13 – The baristas already know this about me.
14 – I have great legs, thanks mom.
15 – I can read a map like nobody’s business, thanks dad.
16 – I was a cheerleader in a past life…also known as middle and high school.
17 – The high jump record that stood for 18 years was broken by me on my last clear my senior year.
18 – My record no longer stands for the team, but does for the school…silly co-op track team.
19 – When I was in high school I wanted to be an orthopedic surgeon, failing calculus in college helped to change my mind.
20 – Turns out my mind prefers words to formulas (mathematical or molecular).
21 – I want to learn how to make cheese and balsamic vinegar…they are two of my favorites.
22 – If I had to identify myself by a magazine I would pick Gourmet…although I have a subscription to that and to Cooking Light, I am definitely a Gourmet girl.
23 – There are too many magazines in my house.
24 – When we build a house we WILL have a library, complete with a ladder.
25 – We will not be building said house for several years.
26 – But we have an architect already!
27 – Texture is essential when it comes to paper, fabric and food.
28 – I want to like yoga.
29 – Yoga loses its appeal after approximately 15 minutes.
30 – I was a dancer for most of my first 18 years on the planet, my body likes movement.
31 – Clarinet was my instrument growing up and I was damn good at it.
32 – 5 minutes of clarinet playing today would leave me unable to breathe…how does that happen?!
33 – With dance and clarinet the old adage is true: If you don’t use it, you lose it.
34 – Chanel Chance makes me feel fancy.
35 – I rarely wear perfume…which may explain my lack of fancy.
36 – I want to dress like a Ralph Lauren model…or a Patagonia model.
37 – I like variety.
38 – Duck with dried cherry port sauce is delicious.
39 – I haven’t eaten it in years.
40 – For my birthday I eat spaghetti and chocolate cake.
41 – If you try to give me boxed cake I will hurt you.
42 – I have been to Europe 3 times.
43 – Two of those trips were ‘educational;’ the last one was purely vacation.
44 – The Colosseum is one of the most remarkable historical structures I have ever seen.
45 – If I could only vacation in one place for the rest of my vacations I would pick Cinque Terre, Italy.
46 – All of this talk about Italy is making me want to go RIGHT NOW.
47 – There is no money in the coffers.
48 – Maybe if I gave up Starbucks…
49 – That will never happen.
50 – Crap, I’m only half way to 100.
51 – I started doing triathlons in 2007 and I love the challenge.
52 – Triathlons are exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.
53 – I am afraid of drowning.
54 – To compensate for my fears of the water I am aggressive in open water.
55 – I am also afraid of my bike…I have not found a compensation mechanism for this fear yet.
56 – Trail running is a lot of fun.
57 – It is also the fastest way to get me to physical therapy.
58 – Having a full time job gets in the way of training.
59 – Stepping outside of my comfort zone is difficult for me, triathlon is a great tool in teaching me how to maximize my talents athletic and otherwise.
60 – I have been known to eat olives, just olives after a run.
61 – In spite of my great legs I look terrible in shorts.
62 – I love how I look in high heels AND I know how to walk in them.
63 – I do not love the blisters on my feet when I wear high heels.
64 – I have 2 tattoos; I love one and am not enamored with the other.
65 – My favorite store is Banana Republic; their clothes feel so nice.
66 – Every other day I want to chop my hair off.
67 – When I run I am glad that I have long enough hair for a ponytail.
68 – Thunderstorms are one of nature’s most fascinating displays.
69 – Fall is my favorite season, spring is a distant second.
70 – Where I live fall and spring last approximately one week.
71 – Kudos used to be my favorite after school snack.
72 – This has nothing to do with anything.
73 – I love my dog and cat more than most people.
74 – Having children frightens me, but I still want one.
75 – Just not yet…
76 – It has been 10 years since I graduated from high school.
77 – Sometimes I have to remind myself of my accomplishments…I forget that I have done cool things.
78 – Coaching track is one of the most rewarding and gut wrenching things I have ever done.
79 – I have been coaching for almost 7 years.
80 – Regardless of the weather I have to sleep with a blanket, even if that means cranking up the air conditioning.
81 – We only have one car and it makes me feel environmentally superior.
82 – I want a second car.
83 – I enjoy a good pedicure.
84 – Personal days should include Starbucks, good bread, a thunderstorm, a book and the animals snuggled beside me.
85 – The perfect day would include all of the above and my husband.
86 – I will be so glad when he is done with law school.
87 – I like having a clean house.
88 – My house could rarely be considered clean.
89 – Hot showers should never be taken for granted.
90 – Anna Karenina is my all time favorite book.
91 – I am inspired by people that do not sacrifice their own integrity.
92 – I am saddened by how much loss my hometown has suffered.
93 – I am optimistic that I have and will continue to make a difference in the lives of others.
94 – Without the belief of 93 I would have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.
95 – I find people who play the violin sexy...my husband plays the violin.
96 – Magnolia trees in bloom make me want to live farther south.
97 – If I lived in Georgia I would eat pralines every day and probably weigh 300lbs.
98 – I would like to go to a football game in every Big Ten stadium.
99 – The first piece of artwork my husband and I bought is called ‘With all my heart’ by Simon Bull.
100 – I believe that all people are inherently good.

Office ladies

I'm taking a class at the moment with administrators...office ladies complain a lot. It's kind of entertaining, but I could really use another cup of coffee.